In The Eye Of The Beholder

We have all heard the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. For most this means that what is beautiful to one may be ugly to another. I may see smooth, plump skin on someone, while another person (usually the owner of said skin) sees huge pores and fat cheeks. But there is another side to this phrase; self image is relative. What bothers me may be something no one else even noticed. So getting rid of those huge pores won’t get me any compliments since no one noticed the pores except me.

Scientist have proven that our eyes don’t “see” what is real. Our brains fill in the blanks for us with what it thinks we should see, so is it any wonder that you could be perceiving something completely differently than me? Communication is the most important thing in this industry. I must be able to see what you see and perceive as you do. But communication is a two way street and a client who gets the best results is one who really knows what they want, can communicate it, and will appreciate the outcome.

When working on corrective skin care it’s my job to exact changes in the skin. Whether it’s pigmentation, lines, acne, redness, or any myriad of other disorders people complain to me about, the bottom line is that you want these problems repaired and I can do it. Now most times a client comes to me with a laundry list of problems, but there is always one that they will say “If I could just get rid of BLANK, then I would be happy.” I always nod and assure them that we can improve the problem. What I never do is call the client a liar. When a client tells me all they want is BLANK I recognize it for the flat out lie that it is. I also recognize that my client has no idea that they are lying. At the time they say this it is 100% true, but rarely are people completely happy with themselves. There is always something they want to improve or fix.

Take for example a hyperpigmentation client I have. I couldn’t ask for a nicer, or more dedicated client. We have taken her from purple butterfly malasma on her face to tiny, nearly undetectable brown spots under her eyes. She has come an incredible way and knows it, but I wasn’t really satisfied with the results until I came home one night to a voice mail message telling me that she loves how wonderful her skin looks. That she has been getting compliments from people…but she just wishes that the breakouts would go away…

I have another client, also a joy to work on, who’s main concern are brown spots all over the face. After 6 months of perfect product use, a series of peels, and special enzyme and oxygen facials, she is upset that there aren’t enough changes for the better in her skin. The treatments don’t seem to work and she has started noticing wrinkles around her mouth and eyes that were never there before. When I start to point out what we have changed she admits that she’s noticed all this, but no one else seems to. When I show her on before pictures that the lines have always been there and were actually worse before she looks at me in disbelief…

Are these two clients really getting different results? No, not really. Just the way they perceive the results are different. The first clients discoloration was far worse than the second clients – hence the compliments from people. The second client’s self image perceived her spots as worse than they were. No one has noticed the spot removal because no one knew they were there to begin with! As to the acne and the wrinkles both clients are now moving onto a different problem because the old one isn’t there to notice anymore. One of the most exciting conversations I have with a client is when they come to me and complain about a new issue. For me this is a moment of celebration and victory. We have fixed their original problem and they are now able to obsess about their next perceived imperfection.

To love skin care you also have to love the neuroses that come along with it. Trust me, I stare at myself and can give you my very own laundry list of things I hate and want to fix. But since I started down the skin fitness path I have come to realize that part of my job is forcing myself to see through my clients eyes – forcing myself to see them as they see themselves. But part of it is also about teaching my clients to see their beauty through my eyes – to make them perceive themselves as better, more beautiful beings both inside and out.

…remember, it’s all relative anyway.